A few of us were chatting over drinks the other day and the topic came up – should you date while unemployed? Do you tell the other person or do you wait? Do you even bother to go out or just stay home on the couch?
These questions may not be deeply philosophical, but they are becoming more relevant every day. (Two of us had recently lost our jobs and were actively dating).
One look at the news tells us that the Canadian economy is slowing down and job creation is slowing down. So if you’re one of the many who are looking for work but still trying to have a social life, what do you do?In tougher times, people are more willing todate someone who is unemployed so you’re not destined to remain dateless on your couch until you find a new job. Dating and relationship expert Josey Vogels suggests telling the truth but only if the topic comes up. Her advice? “Don’t bring it up unless asked. If asked, don’t be coy or embarrassed or evasive. Put a positive spin on it if you can. The more confident you come across about your situation, the better.
“Say something like, ‘I just finished up a job a while ago and I’m figuring out my next move. It’s kind of an exciting transitional time for me.’ Then steer the conversation away from the topic. If they persist, tell then you don’t want to spend the night talking about work when there are so many other fun things to discover about each other.”
As Vogels pointed out, most people tend to ask ‘What do you do’ versus ‘Are you employed?’ on first dates. “Chances are you’ll have to reveal on the first date because everyone wants to know what you do. But they don’t need all the details on date one. As you get to one another, you’ll get a better sense of how they feel about your situation and how much to reveal.”
After that, the ball’s in their court. If they’re uncomfortable or you get the sense you’re being judged, then as Vogels puts it, would you want to date them?
Would you date someone who was unemployed?